lindsay brought over a box of mixed chocolates. i managed to eat through all the ones with nuts bulging out. and, without miss, managed to find all the hidden nuts, too...

LA Light from Colin Rich on Vimeo.

"...and just as the sun finally set and i began feel an that imploding feeling again, grace found her way spinning around me, again. she told me to grow out my beard and promised that my wisdom would grow, too. she kissed me on the head and boarded a plane to Michigan. " #longdistancephonecallssavetheday.

i based my thesis of our friendship to refute yours -
that no one could know anyone else, completely.
what i am left with is the irrefutable fact that i know the real pains of loneliness
that still has a way of paralyzing me
when i'm standing next to you in a room
full of people that love and respect me.

it's nearly numbing.

i make another drink quickly, quietly exiting every room you walked into.
rested my head on a friend's shoulder who i knew would be too drunk
to remember me foolishly wiping my tears on his jacket again.

a scene too familiar.
i've seen one too many times.

i need to get out of here before i get drunk to drive home

i'm between a band-aid brown,
a splash of cream in the coffee.

e-fact of the week: quitting facebook is more difficult than quitting cigarettes.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

The lessons you've been learning about love and relationships may have been difficult to learn, but they have enriched your life and brought you some mental clarity. More than ever before, you know what you want, what you need and (most importantly) what you will not put up with. Trust yourself, and know that you will be able to recognize a good opportunity -- and avoid a bad opportunity -- when it comes along. That little voice inside your head is the voice of truth.

(washington post)

person 1: I just want to feel like I'm a part of your life.
person 2: then go read my fucking blog or something.

::silence::

this morning i got the news
that you finally gave up.
you used the word "abandon"
in the middle of one of those
excessively long texts.

revel in the disillusionments
once we figure out
that neither of us were correct.
faulty rationalizations saved you,
and stripped me of love.

i discovered that
my happiness will not rest
in the craze of the selfish.

i, wounded,
need outa here.

a little bit of tenderness.

i tried a little side of tenderness,
and found myself watching a conversation
between a gay father and his son
about discovering what love is.

the fine details of the writing and editing
sent a chill up and and down my spine -
i found myself crying and laughing at the same time.

it's a quiet gem that i hope gets some momentum.

everyone needs a little bit of tenderness.

BEGINNERS

it's painful to see how much resentment my vessel holds.

today's horoscope. (washington post)

Get out there among new people and work your charms -- meeting people just for the sake of meeting people will invigorate you now. It's all about feeding off the energy of strangers and learning how to transition a relationship from small talk into deeper conversations. Every time you connect with someone a bolt of positive energy will warm your heart and give you yet another level of confidence in who you are and where your place is in the world.

went to introduce miles to pistol and paisley.
then greta and drew showed me this gem:

this is the process of realizing
my unhealthy dependency on all of them.

i lost my voice in all this fucking banter.


... to seek the fulliment of real love for oneself,
i wave my hands in the air
and wish you the best
without me.