i miss
you.
too.

chairlift.

aware of his losses,
his friend's words at the bar last night
leaves a ringing in his ear -
his chest already heavy from
last night's dinner.
his whole body shaking through sleep,
he repeatedly seems to hear the faint
chimes of his lullaby-like ringtone,
even in a silent room.
phantom vibrations against his leg
make him believe that
he's about to receive some good news,
which never really comes.
his desperation is much less sweet
when dark circles form around
eyes swollen shut.
(vulnerability only appealing
when you can offer sound advice).
with no one able to make any offering,
he peaks in his loneliness
in the middle of the night,
plummeting quickly at dawn.

i have proven to be a lot slower than i used to be -
mostly, words that never quite make it to my tongue.
all the capacity to filter lost in written words
that are often left unread.
my history written in broad strokes of light.
unable to create when i find myself
in some dark corner.
until brave hands pull my imagination out of this place,
it rests in the repetition of these words
of apology. and mythology.

my life a myth,
only denied or confirmed
by these hands that come and go.
wherever truth lies, is where i find
the reason to leave you again.
only,
you beat me to the punch.

Loveless - Okay

"to weep is to make less the depth of grief." - william shakespeare.

clean/movie/shower/drive/bank/drive away/gas station/park/bay cities/little ethiopia/street fair/thrift shop/urth/bodhi tree/ sierra bonita/ pizza/beer/scrabble/yatze/vertical sleep/walk/astro burger/walk/smoke/drive/sleep.