"going swimmingly"

and for bub in china:

"what man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. what he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him."

-viktor frankl

there was this secret shared,
unkept.
it spread like a wildfire.
till my own transparency is unavoidable.

i write these stories
aloud.
and shared a wind that
would knock everyone on their feet.

i place my hands
on the ground
to show you
how sorry
i am.

i used the word
too much.

and find no peace
in my inability to
separate myself
from it all.

i'm sorry that i'm asking for this tissue back.

there's someone else
that needs it
more than
you.

you.

you.

jess+colin+(jim).

chili-honey-based dressing over greens and fried chicken.
baked macaroni and cheese topped with gruyere and goldfish.
prosciutto-wrapped pork tenderloin, honey-glazed, rosted in yams and pears
strawberry jam cheesecake.

sleepy time.

(photos, de jesus)

new objective:
travel and cook.

"our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. your playing small does not serve the world."

-nelson mandela.

table.
no ceiling.
cigarette
lasts til
dawn.

arthur russell plays.
the line made me aware
that my hands were on the wheel,
retrieving the baggage we left behind.

warm wishes and sweet goodbyes with strangers,
you scream out the rear window with confidence.

i once again remember that
it's hard to feel this close to people
when they aren't sharing the beat
of my dying car speakers.

i love you.
and you.

and couldn't be more happy
to finish that bottle
as soon as
we get
home.