an alien voice woke me up this morning
from a slumber i could not really fall into.
missing identity without cards to validate.
a call from the unknown,
turned out to be a voice i needed to hear today.
i only recognized it was him
by the guessing game he continued to play.
then the familiar laugh after he heard my giggle.
"do not place fear into any of the decision you make,"
my receptive nature soaked in his words

holding hands you came.
and holding hands you left.
as i kicked and caused the trash to tumble.
i keep waking from naps
reaching for something to smoke or drink.
incapable of keeping up.

i keep waking up,
you outside my doorway to remind me
of an exterior idea made by my own imagination.

she said i could be her sidekick.
maybe i'll be straight, too.

text dump 2.

thank you so much for comin babe! lez hang asap! xoxo

thanks e. i love you.

i'm at a crazy mob celebration in front of the whitehouse with thousands of people. history has been made! fucking pandemonium

what made kylle li such a good performer? let's make art project tomorrow. face paint.

hey ian. when you are with dave today will you have him call me? gracias. i can't to give you a hug tonight!

ian all of the gay los angeles is on wilshire protesting making history. while you are watching a movie about making gay history. love you.

i'm so sorry i've been mia my friend! we will get together very soon. lunch on me. i hope everything is healthy and happy... i'm just been organizing my life that has...

hey. if you're with michelle will you tell her i'm sorry! i was so stressed about missing my flight i didn't talk to her. and just realized it.

hanging at my place. come over if you will.

fuck. sounds amazing. i'll know if i can by wednesday.

fuck. fell asleep as soon as i got home from store. just woke up. call me as soon as you wake up. let's meet up early. so sorry about tonight.

jobess and homeless in portland. give me a call whenever. hope you're well.

you awake? - 2.26am

sorry i'm fucking hooked on this show.

love you. even when you're in closets. espeically when you redecorate crowded apartments.

maybe if you want to meet me at work =)

fuck my life ohio can suck my dick you have no idea how cold and shitty it is right now i am fucking moving.

if you are scared, you don't have to be

eman. we is picking up nina tomorrow. gonna bring her to LA and meet up with you for lunch. Sound good? Good. Love, Colin and Jess.

good. did he say he was a fucking bitch

hey you wanna come over for indian food pizza? and some wall e

that's so far away from now. having ian withdrawal.

lunch today? 130 at la brea and highland if you're interested.





and as a result of the past two days, things to do today:
lunch
post office
cancel atm cards
bring broken cameras to bel-air
dmv - get a new license
create ftp server.

exhale.

i needed yesterday to happen.
to understand the difference
between who i am with you
and without you.

scattertones project: completed.

new things i am loving.

pisoy dos.
finding old friends.
making new friends.
leftovers.
homemade cards.
metallic spray paint.
wall-e.
nights that last til 5am.
90s pop.
harmony korine.

gus van sant.


and

madonna.

51

he handed me the last $50 in his pocket.
apologetic that he couldn't bail me out
on my delinquent parking tickets, he said,
"it's not much. just some gas money."
when his birthday card was passed around
in my limited space i was short,
"happy birthday, dad. thanks for all your love
and support in the pursuit of my dreams.
hopefully the hard work and wait will be worth it."
after i hugged him goodbye,
he pulled my head towards him
and kissed me on the head.
"thank you. that was a really nice birthday gift."
i smiled and turned away.

unconditional love is simple.
once its realized at both ends.