bedtime.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
it's easy for a man to lose his way
creating lines between the fiction in his mind,
as he awaits some sort of transformation
into reality.
we seek for our ideas to be realized.
i've learned to measure my life
in my work
in the company that i keep
and in my capacity to create.
without these things,
i have no unit of measurement.
sometimes even optimists get cynical,
fuck it.
creating lines between the fiction in his mind,
as he awaits some sort of transformation
into reality.
we seek for our ideas to be realized.
i've learned to measure my life
in my work
in the company that i keep
and in my capacity to create.
without these things,
i have no unit of measurement.
sometimes even optimists get cynical,
fuck it.
home. by lawrence wong.
spring cleaning...
activities: androgynous love. domestication.
documentation. sunrises.
sunday family style meals.
road trips and extended stays.
interests: storytellers. poets. lyricists. layers. memoirs. non-linear plot lines. front stoops. balconies. rooftops. hedonistic consequentialism. altruism. obstructed views. windows. frame by frame. masks. lollipops. potatoes. home spaces. coping mechanisms. overlap. new places. used book stores. fire escapes. skylines. public transportation. homemade. empathy. compassion. soup recipes. humanist mysticism.
small surprises.
favorite music: lyric hunting. throwbacks.
intricate machines. third eye blind. coldplay. bon iver. radiohead. the national. animal collective. deerhunter.
favorite tv shows: top chef.
favorite movies: milk. lars and the real girl. my own private idaho. y tu mama tambien. into the wild. the 400 blows. girl interrupted. young at heart. american beauty. shawshank redemption. brokeback mountain. hedwig and the angry inch. forrest gump. in bruges.
favorite books: east of eden. the gift (hafiz). siddhartha. a home at the end of the world. beautiful losers. the perks of being a wallflower. the giving tree.
favorite quotations: "to believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart, is true for all men, - that is genius." - emerson.
"im so blessed to have spent that time with my family and the friends i love. with my short life, i have met so many people i deeply care for" - yeasayer.
about me:can i take a photo of you?
Monday, March 2, 2009
i carried these words on my fingertips
waiting for the girl in the green dress
to light her cigarette.
we finished the bottle, tossed it to the side
and we walked back into the crowded restaurant.
she kept her white gloves on,
shoved everyone aside with one hand,
pulling me behind her with the other.
all i remember after that
was dizzy laughter.
and that i had to go to the bathroom again.
i sat across from you tonight at dinner.
her drunk squeal made me laugh,
you nervously accepted the obligatory hand squeeze.
i pull away again
excusing myself with a cigarette.
i call home to see how they felt before their show,
i felt like a guilty mother
missing her son's big gig.
no answer.
having no one to speak to,
i listened carefully to the noise around me,
started singing a song
then though about what you said.
i remember the sound of your voice
when your optimism turned against you.
rewards will follow, i promise.
i find myself smoking this cigarette alone again
and find comfort in the rain clouds quickly passing
as this reverb rattles my skin.
waiting for the girl in the green dress
to light her cigarette.
we finished the bottle, tossed it to the side
and we walked back into the crowded restaurant.
she kept her white gloves on,
shoved everyone aside with one hand,
pulling me behind her with the other.
all i remember after that
was dizzy laughter.
and that i had to go to the bathroom again.
i sat across from you tonight at dinner.
her drunk squeal made me laugh,
you nervously accepted the obligatory hand squeeze.
i pull away again
excusing myself with a cigarette.
i call home to see how they felt before their show,
i felt like a guilty mother
missing her son's big gig.
no answer.
having no one to speak to,
i listened carefully to the noise around me,
started singing a song
then though about what you said.
i remember the sound of your voice
when your optimism turned against you.
rewards will follow, i promise.
i find myself smoking this cigarette alone again
and find comfort in the rain clouds quickly passing
as this reverb rattles my skin.
outbox 1. purging my mailbox.
i blacked out after crying and saying bye to boone. it was fun. lots of people.
it's cool. i'll see you when i'm roaming these parts again. i love you.
morning. i'm up and about. ring me when you're up! i have luca's car so i can come and get you! need to steal some musica from you today too.
treehouse.
i'm on the second song of the first cd and you've already win. i love you.
just passed the CA state line (1/14/09 4:33pm)
i've cried four times today. miss you too.
listened to your mix as we entered empty arizona. smoked and stared out the window. know i'm thinking abot you the whole way through. love, e. (1/15/09 5:05pm)
new mexico. didn't make it to grand canyon before dark. got there right after the sun was all the way down. (1/15/09 9:03pm)
austin. just got to new mexico. 15 more hours without stopping.
all you can eat sushy yesterday in vegas. ran into hoover dam on the way to grand canyon but didn't make it before dark. now in new mexico on a straight to austin non stop. getting there around noon tomorrow when i plan to buy a handle of vodka. miss you. loves.
in austin. first thing we did. buy vodka (11/16/09 11:03am)
don't stress too much! have a ton of fun tonight... just got to austin. so weird being here. tell you about it later! call me sometime if you want to chat. break a leg. wish i could be there.
i can hear you singing from here.
in dc for inauguration.
i have zorina in dc. she left her phone in ny. she says sorry. she had to get a ride here at 5am.
good luck tonight babyboy. sure it'll be good.
yeah. starting at the capital right now with zorina. the city is crazy right now! no worries. i'll talk to you soon.
yeah. with a friend real quick. he was working all week and called right before i talked to you. had a drink with him. leaving in a second. sorry! he's by gwu.
ha. i just got hit on by a girl saying i looked like the best dressed hipster at this ball. OMG! obama just walked in.
new york (1/22/09 1:56pm)
on our way from queens just now.
going to dumbo.
i'm at the park where you eat lunch.
luca is out of control. finally alseep. i'm not letting him drink anymore!
just woke up. telling luca about last night. he's embarrassed. going to lunch with brian then heading to city for a bit.
um i think you're sending texts to the wrong person. dinner and lube?
waiting for luca to get out. moca just closed. taking sub to you next!
kirsten dunst is sitting right next to me at this bar. vomit.
watching billy elliot
i'm so homesick.
i just won front row rush tickets to wicked in ny! thinking of you.
in manhat. just let me know what you want to do and how to meet. we can subway to you if that's easier. staying in soho tonight.
buying a bottle of vodka now. should we preparty at your place? after dinner?
just got home from the bars. i'll call you at 8 if i'm going to make it. pretty gone at the momment. didn't mean to be out this late. sorry if i don't make it.
bar with nish stefo and luca. how's the new home? i miss you. call you when we leave here.
everything cool? coming to la in a couple weeks for that interview. confirmed today. hope this finds you well. it's been an enlightening journey. can't wait to share with you soon. love.
new york. i miss you dearly. retardedly home sick.
damn! how are you functioning!? we got towed and fixed the car. heading to stefo then ehading out. it was really good seeing you. love you. see you in a few months.
with stefo then heading out to tennessee.
in tennessee with luca's aunt. so many white people and cowboys! omg! i feel so off. ha
cafe du monde for breakfast. french quarter. jambalaya and fried chicken for lunch. 9th ward. now harbor seafood for dinner. then back to austin. )2/2/09 2:05pm)
gah! 3 hours til austin. on week til la.
back in austin (2/2/09 10:24pm)
don't be afraid to reinvent yourself. bukowski told me that himself
thank you for everything. i miss you already. truly. i love you. take care of yourself until we're together again <3
flight is on time. see you at 830. terminal 4. american airlines. in n out?
godmother. i must be home. ha
hey dude! interview is friday at the earliest. so i'll be around if you want to hang out this week. let me know!
bakersfield to say hi to mom and such. i'll be at lo's tonight if not with chris. ring after practice have fun tonight. i want some red moon.
i miss you so much. started season to of oc today. hah. love
i hat life. it's one big joke.
I AM EMPLOYED!!! (2/18/09 3:38pm)
heading back now. good luck the next couple of days. see you sunday.
ha. yeah. just til tomorrow. start work next week. we'll hang soon. no worries. have fun this weekend.
will do. night bugger.
morning. change of plans. i'm in bakersfield. they are meeting me here instead of me picking them up in la. if you want to send something up with ryan or eric. good luck tomorrow. have a good weekend.
chao hit a coyote. waiting for tow truck. hour out. be there as soon as chaos car gets towed (2/20/09 11:04pm)
so apparently there's a shooting. they stopped all traffic on the freeway.
yeah. it was a struggle getting up here. chao fucked his car by hitting a coyote. then there was a shoot out on the freeway and we got stuck on the freeway for an hour. with greg and lauren now. lindsay is mostly moved out. so weird. glad to hear show went well. you around tomorrow?
my car just died on the freeway. fuck! i think we're stuck. eric's car is still being repaired.
it's a lot of things. i relate to charlie a lot. esp with his friends. i thought that maybe you would too.
interest in hanging out tomorrow? catch up and shit?
i blacked out after crying and saying bye to boone. it was fun. lots of people.
it's cool. i'll see you when i'm roaming these parts again. i love you.
morning. i'm up and about. ring me when you're up! i have luca's car so i can come and get you! need to steal some musica from you today too.
treehouse.
i'm on the second song of the first cd and you've already win. i love you.
just passed the CA state line (1/14/09 4:33pm)
i've cried four times today. miss you too.
listened to your mix as we entered empty arizona. smoked and stared out the window. know i'm thinking abot you the whole way through. love, e. (1/15/09 5:05pm)
new mexico. didn't make it to grand canyon before dark. got there right after the sun was all the way down. (1/15/09 9:03pm)
austin. just got to new mexico. 15 more hours without stopping.
all you can eat sushy yesterday in vegas. ran into hoover dam on the way to grand canyon but didn't make it before dark. now in new mexico on a straight to austin non stop. getting there around noon tomorrow when i plan to buy a handle of vodka. miss you. loves.
in austin. first thing we did. buy vodka (11/16/09 11:03am)
don't stress too much! have a ton of fun tonight... just got to austin. so weird being here. tell you about it later! call me sometime if you want to chat. break a leg. wish i could be there.
i can hear you singing from here.
in dc for inauguration.
i have zorina in dc. she left her phone in ny. she says sorry. she had to get a ride here at 5am.
good luck tonight babyboy. sure it'll be good.
yeah. starting at the capital right now with zorina. the city is crazy right now! no worries. i'll talk to you soon.
yeah. with a friend real quick. he was working all week and called right before i talked to you. had a drink with him. leaving in a second. sorry! he's by gwu.
ha. i just got hit on by a girl saying i looked like the best dressed hipster at this ball. OMG! obama just walked in.
new york (1/22/09 1:56pm)
on our way from queens just now.
going to dumbo.
i'm at the park where you eat lunch.
luca is out of control. finally alseep. i'm not letting him drink anymore!
just woke up. telling luca about last night. he's embarrassed. going to lunch with brian then heading to city for a bit.
um i think you're sending texts to the wrong person. dinner and lube?
waiting for luca to get out. moca just closed. taking sub to you next!
kirsten dunst is sitting right next to me at this bar. vomit.
watching billy elliot
i'm so homesick.
i just won front row rush tickets to wicked in ny! thinking of you.
in manhat. just let me know what you want to do and how to meet. we can subway to you if that's easier. staying in soho tonight.
buying a bottle of vodka now. should we preparty at your place? after dinner?
just got home from the bars. i'll call you at 8 if i'm going to make it. pretty gone at the momment. didn't mean to be out this late. sorry if i don't make it.
bar with nish stefo and luca. how's the new home? i miss you. call you when we leave here.
everything cool? coming to la in a couple weeks for that interview. confirmed today. hope this finds you well. it's been an enlightening journey. can't wait to share with you soon. love.
new york. i miss you dearly. retardedly home sick.
damn! how are you functioning!? we got towed and fixed the car. heading to stefo then ehading out. it was really good seeing you. love you. see you in a few months.
with stefo then heading out to tennessee.
in tennessee with luca's aunt. so many white people and cowboys! omg! i feel so off. ha
cafe du monde for breakfast. french quarter. jambalaya and fried chicken for lunch. 9th ward. now harbor seafood for dinner. then back to austin. )2/2/09 2:05pm)
gah! 3 hours til austin. on week til la.
back in austin (2/2/09 10:24pm)
don't be afraid to reinvent yourself. bukowski told me that himself
thank you for everything. i miss you already. truly. i love you. take care of yourself until we're together again <3
flight is on time. see you at 830. terminal 4. american airlines. in n out?
godmother. i must be home. ha
hey dude! interview is friday at the earliest. so i'll be around if you want to hang out this week. let me know!
bakersfield to say hi to mom and such. i'll be at lo's tonight if not with chris. ring after practice have fun tonight. i want some red moon.
i miss you so much. started season to of oc today. hah. love
i hat life. it's one big joke.
I AM EMPLOYED!!! (2/18/09 3:38pm)
heading back now. good luck the next couple of days. see you sunday.
ha. yeah. just til tomorrow. start work next week. we'll hang soon. no worries. have fun this weekend.
will do. night bugger.
morning. change of plans. i'm in bakersfield. they are meeting me here instead of me picking them up in la. if you want to send something up with ryan or eric. good luck tomorrow. have a good weekend.
chao hit a coyote. waiting for tow truck. hour out. be there as soon as chaos car gets towed (2/20/09 11:04pm)
so apparently there's a shooting. they stopped all traffic on the freeway.
yeah. it was a struggle getting up here. chao fucked his car by hitting a coyote. then there was a shoot out on the freeway and we got stuck on the freeway for an hour. with greg and lauren now. lindsay is mostly moved out. so weird. glad to hear show went well. you around tomorrow?
my car just died on the freeway. fuck! i think we're stuck. eric's car is still being repaired.
it's a lot of things. i relate to charlie a lot. esp with his friends. i thought that maybe you would too.
interest in hanging out tomorrow? catch up and shit?
[text dump 10. back to la. and work]
i hate when things change so suddenly. new york wasn't reality.
hey dude! i found my phone! just a heads up bc we should get together and do some serious catching up.
thanks man. have a good time.
party downtown. tomorrow night. disco djs. interest?
all day brotha. i have have all kinds of family in town all weekend. you in town?
yeah, i forgot to clear up that on impetsby part ;p we would definitely move some people around. lo boone and ryan will be in my car up to bakersfield.
i hear a rumor about my favorite filipino coming to san fran...
you're secret is safe with me.
we are on our way to the gay bars by home and we just saw an amazing intricate machines show, and you're not here...
ha. hey it was great. now we're just enjoying the party. having fun up there? i really miss everyone.
i should be around. send my boundless love to everyone i'm missing.
holy shit. what do you do?
oh shit. i'm sorry.
hey! we are having a joint bdays party at our house for me annie ian and shaun on friday march 6th! so keep it open! see you there! <3 pisces
"perks wallflower" is too sad.
how was the first day of work!?
i really wish i could grow a beard. give me some of yours.
nah, do you have potatoes?
ya. let's.
i hate when things change so suddenly. new york wasn't reality.
hey dude! i found my phone! just a heads up bc we should get together and do some serious catching up.
thanks man. have a good time.
party downtown. tomorrow night. disco djs. interest?
all day brotha. i have have all kinds of family in town all weekend. you in town?
yeah, i forgot to clear up that on impetsby part ;p we would definitely move some people around. lo boone and ryan will be in my car up to bakersfield.
i hear a rumor about my favorite filipino coming to san fran...
you're secret is safe with me.
we are on our way to the gay bars by home and we just saw an amazing intricate machines show, and you're not here...
ha. hey it was great. now we're just enjoying the party. having fun up there? i really miss everyone.
i should be around. send my boundless love to everyone i'm missing.
holy shit. what do you do?
oh shit. i'm sorry.
hey! we are having a joint bdays party at our house for me annie ian and shaun on friday march 6th! so keep it open! see you there! <3 pisces
"perks wallflower" is too sad.
how was the first day of work!?
i really wish i could grow a beard. give me some of yours.
nah, do you have potatoes?
ya. let's.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
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