he came without worry
and we traveled alone
poker faces don't work
in this game anymore.
it's partially luck, part patience
learning not to throw
all your best cards down first
similar con men sit around the table.
resisting throwing it all up.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
current events.
you told me a tale about the trail
that led you down into the canyon
where you'd have your mystical vision.
using the word milky to describe
the thickness of the stars.
then when you close your eyes
i did too, and it all felt the same.
shunning the masses at church,
i lost religion at the cost of my sanity.
political arenas breeding hate.
yes on 8.
yes on 8.
no wonder i can only imagine
having the family life i dreamed of,
with a woman.
everyone's advised in how to be happy,
planting images of what the future
should look like.
but someone forgot to tell me
that it was sitting inside all this time.
and now that i've found out
i feel very wronged.
the times i feel like i'm losing you,
i find something about myself.
for better or worse.
mom has to fix the mortgage.
a new family moved into our old home
last saturday.
dad's eyes speak less confidently than his voice.
my brothers just try to get by.
i haven't heard from my sister in ages
my grandma smiles
everday.
listening to the sound of the cars
on the highway
i closed my eyes and saw water.
you closed yours and saw stars.
somewhere we collided , crashing like waves
making the sounds of coming and going.
you told me a tale about the trail
that led you down into the canyon
where you'd have your mystical vision.
using the word milky to describe
the thickness of the stars.
then when you close your eyes
i did too, and it all felt the same.
shunning the masses at church,
i lost religion at the cost of my sanity.
political arenas breeding hate.
yes on 8.
yes on 8.
no wonder i can only imagine
having the family life i dreamed of,
with a woman.
everyone's advised in how to be happy,
planting images of what the future
should look like.
but someone forgot to tell me
that it was sitting inside all this time.
and now that i've found out
i feel very wronged.
the times i feel like i'm losing you,
i find something about myself.
for better or worse.
mom has to fix the mortgage.
a new family moved into our old home
last saturday.
dad's eyes speak less confidently than his voice.
my brothers just try to get by.
i haven't heard from my sister in ages
my grandma smiles
everday.
listening to the sound of the cars
on the highway
i closed my eyes and saw water.
you closed yours and saw stars.
somewhere we collided , crashing like waves
making the sounds of coming and going.
Monday, October 27, 2008
the trouble with loving so many people,
is learning to balance the moralities
without losing sense of your own boundaries.
justifying all our actions, revealing common fragility.
we seek old cities we've been to before,
because we are reassured our warm cup of noodles
in a home where it takes work to find any alone time.
when all you needed was a new place to grow.
uprooted and placed into the same pot,
my stomach aches and insomnia feeds off dry soil.
i never could have imagined despising predictability
in such an uncertain time.
is learning to balance the moralities
without losing sense of your own boundaries.
justifying all our actions, revealing common fragility.
we seek old cities we've been to before,
because we are reassured our warm cup of noodles
in a home where it takes work to find any alone time.
when all you needed was a new place to grow.
uprooted and placed into the same pot,
my stomach aches and insomnia feeds off dry soil.
i never could have imagined despising predictability
in such an uncertain time.
afraid of further spreading the stain of my name
i have refrained from making my life
no more public than the contrived words
that i put down into writing.
hidden secrets and gestures between every letter
to people waiting across ocean waters,
as well as the last person i spoke
my drunken slander to last night.
i sang that song loudly in the car last night
and remembered that i labeled it unconditional.
singing the same song on repeat,
i pull off to the side of the road
and watched harry potter, instead.
i have refrained from making my life
no more public than the contrived words
that i put down into writing.
hidden secrets and gestures between every letter
to people waiting across ocean waters,
as well as the last person i spoke
my drunken slander to last night.
i sang that song loudly in the car last night
and remembered that i labeled it unconditional.
singing the same song on repeat,
i pull off to the side of the road
and watched harry potter, instead.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
cleaning out my inbox.
1. hey man. i'm in abke but i'm gonna call it a night. catch up on some much needed rest. you in town? give you a call tomorrow when i can be better company.
2. ohio is retarded.
3. e. i miss you. i'm coming to attack you and see your apt this week.
4. front door is open.
5. tell greg he's still black in my book.
6. nice. watch out for those serial killer cops. they're everywhere.
7. call me when you wake up?
8. that sucks but keep your head up. focus on the opportunities you can create before you give up.
9. don't know. i'm still a mess.
10. too many nightmares. let's just kick it tomorrow. soz.
11. i love you.
12. - -
13. you are listed. thanks for all the help today.
14. just landed.
15. tell lee he's not welcome in my home. i'm very upset that he's near my private space
16. i'm broke too! ah! i miss you can we hang soon? tomorrow?
17. walking across the brooklyn bridge. so amazing. i wish i had a fucking camera. gahhhh.
18. don't be. youre good at what you do. just do it.
19. *high five
20. don't tease me ian
21. best reply to get
22. time for a j or at least breathing for a minute (got to drop something off for you). what's your time frame looking like? too stressful?
23. these days by jackson browne. and that movie was awesome.
24. we went to a chinese restaurant yesterday and i got you a fortune cookie: "your home is a pleasant place from which you draw happiness."
25. i just drank all your whiskey! =) thanks!
26. i'm alive. i was in mexico for a week. now in new york. just landed. thanks for the text. i will call you when i have free time.
27. very odd question. do you have >>>> ? if so do you want to go to the park and smoke?
28. tell her to eat and dick and come.
* > <$% deleted text. <# * ^^^>
1. hey man. i'm in abke but i'm gonna call it a night. catch up on some much needed rest. you in town? give you a call tomorrow when i can be better company.
2. ohio is retarded.
3. e. i miss you. i'm coming to attack you and see your apt this week.
4. front door is open.
5. tell greg he's still black in my book.
6. nice. watch out for those serial killer cops. they're everywhere.
7. call me when you wake up?
8. that sucks but keep your head up. focus on the opportunities you can create before you give up.
9. don't know. i'm still a mess.
10. too many nightmares. let's just kick it tomorrow. soz.
11. i love you.
12. - -
13. you are listed. thanks for all the help today.
14. just landed.
15. tell lee he's not welcome in my home. i'm very upset that he's near my private space
16. i'm broke too! ah! i miss you can we hang soon? tomorrow?
17. walking across the brooklyn bridge. so amazing. i wish i had a fucking camera. gahhhh.
18. don't be. youre good at what you do. just do it.
19. *high five
20. don't tease me ian
21. best reply to get
22. time for a j or at least breathing for a minute (got to drop something off for you). what's your time frame looking like? too stressful?
23. these days by jackson browne. and that movie was awesome.
24. we went to a chinese restaurant yesterday and i got you a fortune cookie: "your home is a pleasant place from which you draw happiness."
25. i just drank all your whiskey! =) thanks!
26. i'm alive. i was in mexico for a week. now in new york. just landed. thanks for the text. i will call you when i have free time.
27. very odd question. do you have >>>> ? if so do you want to go to the park and smoke?
28. tell her to eat and dick and come.
* > <$% deleted text. <# * ^^^>
today's horoscope: allowing yourself time to daydream now may be the most important gift you can give yourself while beautiful Venus forms a magical quintile with illusory neptune. this idealistic combination lures you away from the daily humdrum and into a fantasy world where you are free to imagine anything at all. instead of trying to force productivity today, take a magical journey inward instead.
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