this weekend's enjoyment.

to all the single ladies.
and everyone else, too.

Love The One Youre With (Single/LP Version) - Stephen Stills

"wow. i have a lot of shit to deal with." he remarked
without looking into either of our eyes.
he stared out in the distance.
each of us were placed into
different frames of thinking.

i didn't mind the silence.

i created a diagram of the universe
with a pile of pebbles,
pieces dry white wood,
a splash of water
and cigarette butt.

it would have been an existential crisis,
had it not been for the company
we were with at that moment.

the crisis came when
we all finally stopped talking.



for weeks we carried that with us.
and may have found comfort
in finding friendships that
taught something of empathy.

we weren't alone again
until we each decided our destiny.








i'm glad i just got the phonecall just now that he's coming back right now so that we wouldn't have to alone all night.

i need not know it all.

platonic love
allows us to open
new windows
in our lives.

rooftops.
apologies.
embraces.
reunions.
goodbyes.
patios.
couches.
noises.
shared.
watertowers.
silence
drinks.
drinks.
more drinks.
departed.

love is a funny thing.

standing again. here
the rain fell,
the frat boy took 20 minutes
to get out of a parallel parking spot.

i studied the faces
and felt no talent
in reading people anymore.
i wasn't sure whether
to measure in what they say
or to measure it
with silence.

ideas develop,
and i toss aside
objectively
what doesn't work.

and oftentimes, i'll make a mistake.

if i cannot trust myself,
then it cannot
be shared
with anyone else.

and i can't really afford to keep all these things in my head.

i began categorizing repeated images
collected in different combination
as a flow chart
of all these people in my life.

i started seeing myself again,
and offer a new explanation
to rid myself of living in the past
and start something new.

for myself.

lyrics. bon iver. blood bank.

well I met you at the blood bank. we were looking at the bags
wondering if any of the colors matched any of the names we knew on the tags

you said "see look thats yours stacked on top with your brother's
see how the resemble one another, even in their plastic little covers"

and i said i know it well

that secret that you knew, but don't know how to tell
It fucks with your honor and it teases your head
but you know that its good girl cos its running you with red

then the snow started falling. we were stuck out in your car
you were rubbing both of my hands, chewing on a candy bar

you said "'aint this just like the present to be showing up like this"
as a moon waned to crescent we started to kiss

and i said i know it well

that secret that we know that we don't know how to tell
i'm in love with your honor. i'm in love with your cheeks
what's that noise up the stairs babe?
is that christmas morning creaks?

and i said i know it well
i know it well ...

Blood Bank - Bon Iver

red canopies of light spread
over oranged skylines.
it will complete statements
that may weave into
misunderstanding.

watertowers provide
the potential gravity
that will force these lives
toward the ground
in cold rusting pipes.

purchasing a yellow
rose, we laughed away
another thursday night
at the weight of our
sleepless nights
and sudden pleasure.

like the lessons we never learned while they were being taught -
these printed photographs held some information of new discoveries,
now simply swapped like an old deck of trading cards.

we place the value on our words, our actions, our thoughts.
it would be fair to say that we didn't expect these things to cause the latter,
forcing me to run away in oder reinvent myself once again.

i woke up this morning, my lower back aching, my fever headache lingering,
and this ill feeling from waking up with my ribs pushing against hardwood floor -
did i put myself in this place again? what happened to reinvention?

i cannot afford to change the past - how much you know or don't know about me.
my wallet is empty, i'm down to my last blanket and no pillow.
i cannot passively wait for things to just end up how i want.

if i intend on building this little shining of a thing out of my life,
i suppose i have to practice on my timing.