"unbeknownst to them, these two make a profound mark on their environment. their relationship is about power, though not of the worldly kind that builds empires and conquers mountains rather, it is something more personal that these two bring out in each other. this power becomes not only a symbol of but a reason for the deep inward connection here. with the relationship's support, these two can more courageously express who they are and who they want to be.

the quality of the X and Y connection is often most apparent in their love affairs. this love is more often more spiritual or platonic than physical, although sexual passion cannot be ruled out. problems of communication arise, since Y may periodically go incommunicado, isolating themselves in their own world, removed from both the stresses of life and the anxious queries of their partner. they may also be made insecure by the X need to go out the relationship for comfort or affection, a step they tend to regard as an act of betrayal.

marriages are emotionally rich and may work, although on the whole they lack the stability to hold together. X and Y are square to each other... Although that translates in this combination as nervousness, worry or depression rather than overt conflict, these passive states are actually much harder for X to deal with than outright anger or aggression. despite their difficulty in interacting, these spouses may have a hard time letting go of their marriage, which gives them so much in the way of growth of self expression.

friendships may be a good bet, but can lack intensity and have a tendency to drift...

advice: don't be afraid to push a bit harder. try to even out emotional moods. keep lines of communication open. beware of compulsion to withdraw."

















it's like i read it out of a book or something.

chris - the end 2. hollywood, april 2009.

Perfect - The Smashing Pumpkins

karma

recycled garbage.
i collected recycled garbage.

someday i'll make a chandelier
with all these bottles
and build walls with
all this cigarette ash.

i'll select songs from the
collection of mixed albums,
choosing an old 60 minutes
to store new
memories into.

i'll press play on the car radio
and we will choose
to not speak
about what happened last night.

i'll choose to throw it out the window
by the time we reach the 405.

i'll write all these words
to tell you about that time
when a photographer came in
and told me the secret to his work.

he said it so casually.

i remembered knowing you would love the story.
i remember being really tired that day.
i remember getting off work
i going to the grocery store
and i remembermaking dinner
in nervous silence.

i remember wanting to tell you
what i learned.
but you there wasnàt enough time -

working full time and everything
just doesn't give us the time to do what we want.

right?




so i'm recycling these songs,
making my past fiction.
and starting off again
without needing
to tell
you
all
about it.

someone put a camera around my neck this weekend.
the familiar happiness pushed me to make a purchase today.

i'll buy the film tomorrow and try to get that lens back as soon as possible.















i find purpose in the mundane beauty in the passing of these days.

she sat nervously,
trying to find different points of focus.
she stretches her legs out and sits on the hard wood floor.

she can feel her heart pounding.
another focus point.

her eyes water.
another focus point.

closing her knees against her chest,
she fights off sinking into her thoughts again.

focus point.

she felt the shame of guilt numbing her hands.
she started to quietly shake.
her face turns flush
flashes of heat climb her skin.

her body lost,
to all this anxiety.

sugarman.
for emma.
tightrope.
snookered.

100 tree drawings. by jessica dejesus.

over the course of three years, i started a project in portland with two friends.
i asked for a drawing of their interpretation of a tree with a word or line to go with the picture.
i' collected over 100 trees, which jess scanned and incorporated into a design project.

zo, phonebooth. san francisco, new years day 2009

it's been a long time since i've
driven my car or have taken a picture.







what the hell am i thinking...

"don't forget to smile, ian.
happy people like to smile."

darśana

many movie nights.

finding neverland.
rachel getting married
my own private Idaho
24 hour party people.
reality bites.
rent.
wayne's world.
confessions of a superhero.
the big chill.
milk.
a home at the end of the world.

etc. etc.