animal play [film] development.

tomorrow's horoscope: The determined Taurus Full Moon falls in your 3rd House of Information, urging you to be more dogmatic than usual. Unfortunately, others may be resistant to your ideas because it appears like you think you know everything, even if you are a bit confused with your facts. Remember, communication is a two-way street that begins with listening.

a song from jess

we drove down the 405.

person #1 (to person #2): if you could improve or change one thing about your character, what would you change?

person #2: "ummm... i guess i'd be more outgoing... i wish i could meet people more easily."

person #3 asks for "further explanation"

person #2 expands.

person #2 (to person #3): "well. what would you change!?"

person #3: i'd say i'd be more giving. i'd like to be a little generous.

person #2: "so you're saying right now you're selfish."

person #3 explains his stance and what it's felt like to actually having to answer the question months ago, to which i could tell he has been working on, myself. i smile in agreement to myself and he tells person #2 about when that question was asked of him.

person #3 to person #1: well. what would you change?

person #2: yeah. what would you change?

person #1 take a few minutes to think about it: "i guess i'd be more outgoing too."

person #3: noooo! that's cheating. person #2 already said that... well if that was your first then what would be the second?

person #1: i wouldn't be so emotional.

person #2 and person #3 both expecting that answer, sort of get an endearing laugh about it.

person #1: "obviously, right?"

person #3: "what?"

person #1: yeah. i wish that i were less emotional and more rational sometimes. "

we exit montana.
my head floods again.

walking on air.



(she said)

today i stared at myself naked in front of the mirror
taking a good look at myself.
i mentally marked and circled my flaws

my point of humility.

the trouble was the exterior didn't match the image
i held inside my mind. another clash with reality.

imperfectly structured.

i counted the constellation of scars on my legs
the size of my thighs.
the long white stretch marks that drop down my sides.
the breakout under the beard that hides my double chin.

i took my medication for the first time in a month.
made a list of things i needed to get from the grocery store.
such are my growing pains.

and i began walking away now, one step at a time,
until i can feel like i'm walking on air again.

walking on air.
on my own.

how many choices in our lives
do we choose without knowing all the facts?
what kinds tools do we use
to trick our minds?
what kind of life did you want to live
before everyone else convinced you otherwise?

whose dream are you living out?

yours.
or theirs?







how many lives have i damaged in the process?
and where do we begin again?