monday morning
after restless sleep
i wrote a letter.

it was my
confession
and apology.

it took awhile
for things
to happen the
way they did.

some
evenings later
i found your
old comic page
of the friday
newspaper.

an unfinished
crossword
with the word
"BENT. BENT. BENT."
repeated in
familiar handwriting
the across clues
44 and 45 are highlighted
"They're tightened during hard times."
and "It might be heard from one going to court."

Belts.
Argument.

my horoscope just about
the crossword puzzle read:

You've brought support, education and inspiration to a relationship. Now you'll see why this matters. A loved on is offered a rare opportunity, all thanks to you.







tartufi?

apparently there are some haters.

accosted by funny words
i laughed until my face hurt.

everyone else did, too.
it was nice to see you tonight.
thanks for
fixing my bike.

we joke around
about how our lives will be changed.

i realized that
when i was staring at
you tonight.

i hope your life changes.

do
you understand
who
you could
be

if you
finally lived freely
to everyone else
but me.

jj bear. christmas. bakersfield 2008.

we were driving in my dream
taking turns talking about ourselves.
matching the dimples on our skin,
adopting new words
and matras
about the thrill that all this wonder causes.

we wander around parks
on our second day of spring break
reminisce about the thousands of people
that trampled this land before us.
i take a break
and find comfort
in your silence.

we make declarations about
how we will change this world.
becoming conscious of how we will be remembered,
we become sensitive to our environment
and whisper quietly
all its secrets.

our experiences overlapped
with layers of music
and photographs
as proof
that together
we understood the meaning of life.

william claxton

she read the eulogy of a man i never knew
only familiar to the large photograph of chet baker
in david's office.

she had me watch a slideshow
of his iconic images -
discussed his documentary style
portraiture
in producing images of chet
steve and peggy.

the documentary of jazz
refined his minimal presence
in capturing images
behind the scenes.
he was a wallflower
that told stories
of individuals
in their natural environments.

his relationship with peggy
mused him into a new direction
of fashion and hollywood,
sticking true to his own style -
he quietly infiltrated
and documented
what a love of a muse
can do for a man.

he had friends and lovers
that became the center
of his most memorable images.



i had to hold back tears listening
to the eulogy of a man i did not know
and would like to be remembered as, too.