i considered
each of these friends
a savior from
myself.

holding
onto an admiration
and obligation
to them.

driving
down the same road again,
i find peace
in my newfound lack
of this dependency.

so, you're wishing that you never did
all the embarrassing things you done?
and you wishing you could set it right,
and you wishing you could stay the night.
but there I go again.
wishing never solved a problem.
if you wanna get big time,
go ahead and get it, get big time

so you think you can solve
all your problems by yourself
nevermind. nevermind.
nevermind.
so i think i can solve
all my problems by myself
nevermind. nevermind.
nevermind.

give it.
give it.
give it.
until you just can't give no more...

yesayer. tightrope

snookered.

man's pride is a goddamn joke.
we play our own gods.
rationalization is our greatest tool.
but what we are left with is
the unintentional narcissism
that divides us.

and the anticipated collision.

dejavu. the 405, los angeles. summer 2008.

Tightrope - Yeasayer

these hang ups
are policed
by a past
and failed
expectation.

we've entered
a state
where
everything
is game.

nothing sacred
except
what is not
shared.

but i say,
take what
you need
here.
i've got plenty
to spare.

after listening to one song by dan deacon, hungover, in his car this morning,
i shifted around my budget to buy tickets for laura and i for the troubadour concert.

Build Voice - Dan Deacon

excited.

there is a natural
human inclination
to find joy in teaching.
perhaps as a method
to create legacy,
or maybe
just the joy
of sharing our
staggered
and overlapping
perceptions.

to make us feel like we're not so alone in our thoughts.

we seek the actualization of visions,
and pass on the patters that each of us find.
and sometimes
i'd like to think
that i have a place
in the way
the people in my life live
or simply perceive.





i don't mean to preach.
and surround myself with people
that i have admiration for.
finding that i have nothing new to teach,
i maximize my time be approaching everything
in my life right now as some kind of metaphysical lesson -
that although there is passion and genuine love in my life,
i still have a difficult time
on my dependency
of hugging you.