someone who inspires me.

and life proposed another change, another goodbye, and another reason to spend a bit of time doing the things we always said we would. and two friends, saying goodbye to each other for an indefinite amount of time, decided to do a little collaboration for a photo assignment. we stayed close to home and i photographed my little muse just around the corner.

funny how much certain friendship come into focus when an end is visible.

playdate after work. fei fei. hancock park, los angeles, june 2010.

morning after lauren and demian's wedding. lake arrowhead.

the morning after lauren and demian's sunny late spring wedding.


Tree Planting Ceremony.

In nature we observe the essential patterns of all living things. Albert Einstein suggested that we can understand everything better by taking a deep look at nature. Today, we take a look at how the patterns of chance, environment, love, and nourishment brought these two lives together.

Today we take a moment to observe what happens when two nuts decide to stand their ground, together.

The trees here at Lake Arrowhead have a special significance, as they created a peaceful retreat for the Akazawa family for the last 16 years – later, too, becoming the meeting place and home for the beginning of Demian and Lauren’s relationship. These two have returned to the origin of their love to plant these seeds as a symbol of their commitment to grow together.

Lauren and Demian, would you please plant the seeds.

Planting - Demian and Lauren have chosen to plant the seeds of a special Jacaranda tree – the tree under which Demian proposed to Lauren a year ago. Just as the shade from that tree marked a milestone in their relationship, the planting of these seeds signify the beginning of their life together. Jacaranda trees are also distinct in their vibrant mauve blossoms. May these seeds represent the bright future you two will share. These May the vivid mauve blossoms will highlight these special grounds with the symbol of your love. And may your love reach for the sky and sing in wildly beautiful colors.

Lauren and Demian, would you now please water the seeds.

Watering text – And just like caring for the seeds of a tree, marriage can only sprout with nourishment and care. In your words and actions towards each other – may you nurture one another with the beauty of both your natures. May you allow your roots to grow deeply, and learn to share the joy love brings both with and within you. In watering these seeds – remember the importance in speaking gently to each other, holding one another carefully through the winds of change, and allowing your love to flourish in the sun.

Loves bears witness to the function and meaning of all living things – luckily, we have nature to demonstrate just what true love can achieve.

Louis de Bernieres once said, “Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other under ground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.”

By planting this tree, we begin to watch the story of two nuts that – by chance - fell into the same place at the same time, and decided to create something beautiful with it. Chance brought them here, and love brings them back to these grounds for all of us to witness the story of how two nuts become one.

when you said that it was all water under the bridge
i didn't realize that i should have brought my floating device.

closure over sangria.

"Think of a tree. When you think of a tree, you tend to think of a distinctly defined object; and on a certain level, it is. But when you look more closely at the tree, you will see that ultimately it has no independent existence. When you contemplate it, you will find that it dissolves into an extremely subtle net of relationships that stretches across the universe. The rain that falls on its leaves, the wind that sways it, the soil that nourishes and sustains it, all the seasons and the weather, moonlight and starlight and sunlight - all form part of this tree. As you begin to think about the tree more and more, you will discover that everything in the universe helps to make the tree what it is, that it cannot at any moment be isolated from anything else, and that at every moment its nature is subtly changing."

Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

plato's symposium + hedwig and the angry inch
the origin of love.

writing to do.

i met him, waving in the wind.
his blonde curls matched
the boldness of his name.
three years later,
he'd remind me why we were friends.
placing value on the
only thing we could exchange -
a chance to change
the destination on this ticket.

found photo

"All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated...As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all: but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness....No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee." -john donne

living up to expectations.

dear boo.

i miss you. making a mix for you.
i need you to send me your address.

this one song was' b's idea.

love,
e.

the scene: grilled cheese two ways. tomato soup. boys over a stove.

misadventures.

long car ride alone,
california poppies light the hills on my way home.
i descend the grapevine,
foot off all pedals -

i was greeted by a purple field -
i tossed all troubles
for 36 hours out the window.
heater blasting at my feet.

a gradual descent.
i thought of other times
we'd make this trek.

you were the last thing i threw out.

a song from an old friend hart played,
"i'm in love with you completely,
i'm afraid that's all i can do."

missed adventures.

minor ulcers.
writing letters
maybe unsent.

fucking advertisements.
radio stations.

whiskey glass
too many.

sunday morning
sleeping in.

our words
happily twist.
hugs, expected.

pastel colors
shared smoke

"i'm broke."
"me too."
we laugh.
watch television.

hug goodbyes.
mama cries.
long drives.

work again.