when i was a child
i'd sometimes wake up in an dark room, alone.
and if i couldn't go back to sleep,
i'd kneel next to my bed
close my eyes tightly
and talked to god.

and then when i'd make new friends
i'd tell god all about them.
and when i found a friend
that i could talk to just as openly
i stopped praying.


i turned to intuition and superstition.
i believed in the idea of karma
i believed that happiness could only be known in the extremes
of the pain that I open myself up to.




and now i live on this hill.
spending more time alone than in my whole life.


and i'm not quite sure who to talk to
or what to do when i can't fall asleep at night.