i spend the rare time i get with you these days
watching you play on your computer
until you announce that you're too tired
once an actual conversation starts.

once upon a time we knew each other well
better than ourselves, perhaps.
and once upon a time we could let these
idle moments pass us by

but i count the moments that aren't ours now
and maybe wish you were never in my life to begin with,
so i wouldn't have anything to miss...
not even your angry, passive silence.

i don't wait for your phone call anymore.
instead, i cook dinners and watch movies
until i can figure out an escape plan
from this mess i placed myself into.