all my friends
are writing songs with their girlfriends,
i listen by my windows
on a warm summer night
to all the sounds of wild love
before expected
goodbyes.

last night
i had a cigarette in my room,
paralyzed by the heat
and exhaustion caused by
all this new quiet.
i review the past
slowly one last time -
i'd never be able to keep up
with my readings if
i took anymore time.

i sorted out my head in a cold theater

*** he throws the cards
says he quits
say that there is enough bullshit in the world
without his own contribution. ***