you weren't sure how i'd take the news,
so you rehearsed a more polite version of
what you otherwise would have said.
i carried a newspaper in my hand
in case i needed to sit at a bench alone
and cover my pathetic face.

you shamed me into loving you
then forgot every word you said.
and hated me for the newfound expectations
i found out of words
that were supposed
to just stay in your head.

i blamed the jack and coke.
you laugh and reassure me
that you didn't tell me
you loved me
because i already knew that.

but by the time
the clock struck
and you kissed
me.

it turned into an uneven game
of cat an mouse.

you make me hate myself
more than anything else in my life
for what i did
when i was confused.

i leave you to your decor, old friend.
with my pride tied around the noose.

you tell me goodbye.
and i hate to say it.

there isn't enough room for all of us in this closet anymore.
find your own.
find you own.
find you own.

find your own.